On a personal note...

An inside, uncensored, look into my journey in medicine.

In this space, I want us to be friends and my friends call me Maru. Yes, I am a fourth-year senior General Surgery resident; but, I am also the oldest sister out of five girls, dog mom to Lucy, a heliophile, former lifestyle blogger, shopaholic, Country-music-lover, girly-girl, competitive, Christian, perfectionist, hopeless romantic.

You can find more information about my career journey here.

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Note #001

About a week ago I started to feel pain in and around my right ear. I didn't think too much of it since it wasn't affecting my day-to-day life but did notice that, on the second day, I developed painful lymphadenopathy. The following morning, at around 3 am, I woke up with excruciating ear pain. My right ear was swollen, erythematous, and extremely tender. I had never felt pain like that before. I went to the Emergency Department and was evaluated by the ENT specialist. I was developing facial paralysis. As the day progressed, the right side of my face became more and more paralyzed until I lost complete motor function and lost sensation in the anterior 2/3rds of my tongue. It has been one of the most terrifying things I have ever gone through. Mind you, this was ONE WEEK before the ABSITE.

If you're in medical school and have been trying to guess the diagnosis leading up to this point, let me know if you got it right for Brownie points: Ramsay-Hunt Syndrome (herpes zoster otticus). Basically its shingles + Bell's Palsy, just to not write the whole Up to Date section on it here. There is no clear algorithm for the treatment of Ramsay-Hunt Syndrome which is annoying. As a surgeon, I prefer an algorithm. I like clear guidelines, evidenced-based medicine, randomized control trials, meta-analysis. So you can imagine my frustration when I found no diagram with boxes and arrows to follow to help myself through this.

Needless to say, I needed to rest and get better. I started antiviral therapy followed by steroids and supplemented with facial massages, exercises, warm compresses, vitamins, and lots and lots of chewing gum. Although I am used to a stressful environment, sometimes even feel like I thrive off of it, my body needed me to slow down. And boy, did it tell me. The week coming up to the ABSITE, I could barely study. I was getting used to a lot of things like: eating (not easy to do with a half paralyzed mouth), sleeping (eye patches, weighted eye masks), talking, etc. I had a lot of doctor appointments scheduled. I focused on my health and getting better.

ABSITE test day

After much introspection, I felt that the year-long effort I had put into preparing for the exam shouldn't be put to waste and that I should at least try to take it. I let go of the pressure of scoring and made it more about my own strength and determination. It was definitely a challenge. I wish I could say I'm confident I did well but the truth is I'm not. I am sure though that I am proud of myself for making it through.

I still have a long way to go in getting better but it's challenges like these that will ultimately make me a stronger person.

Thank you for reading and feel free to share your journey down below or contact me.